Your sentences are not very clear because you do not fully explain your ideas in the paragraphs. It is almost as if you just think of something that applies, you stick it into the paragraph, then move on. You are focusing more on your vocabulary presentation instead of clarity in your presentation. The only way for you to score properly in this type of test is if you manage to take one idea, present it at the start of the paragraph, then develop a clear explanation, without adding new information, within the paragraph.
You can present a related example if you want, but you have to make sure that you use only simple sentences for now to make sure that the stress on the reader will be reduced because you are a long way from becoming fluent in the written English language. I am going to refrain from making any more comments on your essay based upon the other scoring criteria.
For now, I want you to focus on how you discuss your paragraphs first. Even if it is not in perfect English, you can still manage to create simple discussions. All School Discussions. MBA Success Stories. Submit a Free Profile Evaluation Request.
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Essay on the Power of Advertising
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TV Advertisements Aimed at Children in Australian should be banned - Words | Essay Example
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Tv Advertising And Its Effect On Children
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- Television Advertising Aimed at Children Should Be Banned Essay | Essay.